That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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