Quick, to the slutcave!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
