The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize