I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
