Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
