We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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