Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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