My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
