He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize