I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
