If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
