I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
