Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
