Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
