I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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