I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
don't judge my taste in strippers
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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