Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
