If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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