There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
