College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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