I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the day after is always just damage control
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
