i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
