i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
