PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
