What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize