It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize