She announced her abortion via fbk
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
