so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
