A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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