we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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