i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
