I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
