also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
do nipples grow back?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
