OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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