Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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