Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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