Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
