3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
