at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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