I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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