yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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