So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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