My liver just broke up with me...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
