If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
