There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
