I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
