dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
