Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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