like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
sarcasm needs its own font
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
