I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
