why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Pooping to opera.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
