She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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