Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
