I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
