I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize