how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
