you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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