Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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