just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
