D3 body, D1 cock
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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