the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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