The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
