i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
