The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
