The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
