Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
