She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize