all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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