Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
