too bad you live with your parents still
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize