Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Randomize
