who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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