You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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