your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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