Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
