I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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