I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
handjob tips. give me some.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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