My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I fill condoms, not promises.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
